A diploma holder in Civil Engineering from Rasool Polytechnique, now in Pakistan,
An Associate Member of Institution of Engineers India(AMIE-I), and later its fellow,
Worked at Bhakra Dam, and Pong Dam in Panjab, India for 33 years.
Constructed 16 kilometers of tunnels and 6 medium size bridges, at Pong Dam.
Now staying in Carona, California, enjoying the autumn of his life, with the families of his younger son and daughter:
Bed ridden with Knee arthritis,
Urine blockage since last 2 years, thus catheter dependent,
Dementia patient, with slowly losing vital memory,
Constipation,
And now blockage of ears due to wax.
Still, an epitome of contentment in life, and gratefulness to God!
He remembers his mother, brothers - whose photos are displayed on facing wall.
Acknowledges his wife - our mother - but occasionally fails, and objects to an unknown lady tickling - massaging - his forelegs.
I am more often than not, wrongly addressed as a colleague of diploma days.
Our mother
* Our mother is still serving and cooking for him.
She could never enjoy the privileges of an old person - being the younger partner to an older spouse,
A mother, par excellence, who invariably does my facial, and manicure, when we meet!
Our conversation
A dementia person, repeats questions on same topic, unlimited number of times. Our ability is tested to be cool in spite of repetitive questions. Below is a list of conversation, which was repeated, 5-6 times in quick succession:
* My father: Whose house we are staying?
Me: It's your house.
My father: No, it is not. How far is my house?
Me: O.K. 7 miles.
My father: Then we can't come for lunch - it is far away. Are the manual three wheelers available?
(He thinks, he is still, in India.)
* My father: These are not my dentures? My dentures are in my house.
Me: No. This is your house, and these are your dentures.
My father: No, you are trying to play smart.
(He didn't take breakfast, then. Later he understood.)
Conclusion
* At 80-90 years age - the second childhood - even, normal parents need special considerations. If an old parent, suffers from dementia, we have to prepare ourselves and understand their special needs.
* Meaningful conversation with dementia persons degenerates slowly. Their mind acts like RAM, in an incoherent way. We got to accept that. Old memories even if intact, may not be available, at right time.
* He enjoys Tom and Jerry, and commented: See how animals help each other.
* When I ask him," How is life?."
He replies: The life is like a train. It must keep moving. New passengers board the train. We, the older lot, stay as long as God wants us to stay on.
* We all have no choice, but to accept His dictates, and thank Him always.
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