read my first 10 personal development books in three months. It was after that that I met the girl of my dreams. She was an author and she lived in Australia—and, today, I am happily living in Australia with her.

Focusing on self-improvement has presented many opportunities in our lives—like speaking at live events, writing for online publications and traveling the world.

This can happen for you, too.

But in order for things to change in your life, in order to get where you want to be, you have to grow into the person who is ready for that change. Personal development is vital to your success.

Related: Why Personal Development Is Critical to Success

Here are three specific ways focusing on self-improvement can change your life:

1. It presents you with new opportunities.

Growth in yourself eventually leads you to new opportunities, opportunities that don’t come about until you grow into the person who is ready for them. All you have to do is focus on self-improvement—start by reading personal development articles, books, blogs—and implement the things you learn into your own life.

2. It increases your self-esteem to new levels.

Self-confidence is ultimately the starting point to following your dreams—you have to believe in yourself and your dreams enough to go after them. As you grow, you’re building up that mindset, that belief.

When I picked up my very first personal development book—Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill—that’s when my self-esteem started rising, when I really started to believe in myself and my goals. Reading success books was what pushed me to grow, to change, the motivation behind my goals.

3. It can help you become a better version of yourself.

Becoming a better version of yourself is the main goal of self-improvement—to improve in your job, your business, your relationships. Whatever area of your life you’re working on, that’s part of growing as a person. You have to constantly look at what you can improve and have the awareness to know what needs to be done to do it.

The most effective way of finding out how to get better is to ask the people around you to make a list of what you’re best at and where you could make improvements. Take the list of improvements and work on them one by one.

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Millions of women experience involuntary loss of urine called urinary incontinence. Some women may lose a few drops of urine while running or coughing. Others may feel a strong, sudden urge to urinate just before losing a large amount of urine. Many women experience both symptoms.

Urinary incontinence can be slightly bothersome or totally debilitating. For some women, the risk of public embarrassment keeps them from enjoying many activities with their family and friends. Urine loss also can occur during sexual activity and cause tremendous emotional distress.

If you’re experiencing urinary incontinence, know that it is a medical problem and quite common among women. Your doctor or nurse can help you find a solution.

It’s also important to see your doctor to be examined for any bladder issues to be sure the problem is not related to pelvic masses or other conditions.

Why urinary incontinence happens

Incontinence occurs because of problems with muscles and nerves in the pelvic floor that help to hold or release urine. You can have your women’s health care provider assess your pelvic tone during your pelvic exam.

Women experience urinary incontinence twice as often as men because of pregnancy, childbirth, menopause or structure of the female urinary tract. Other factors that can influence the strength of the pelvic floor include genetic factors, diet, weight, bowel function, surgical procedures and medical conditions.

Older women experience urinary incontinence more often than younger women. But incontinence is not inevitable with age.

Men can develop urinary incontinence as well. Men and women can both develop the condition from neurologic injury, birth defects, stroke, multiple sclerosis and the physical problems associated with aging.

Obesity, which is associated with increased abdominal pressure, can worsen incontinence. Fortunately, weight loss can reduce its severity.

Treatments

Remedies for urinary incontinence can include medications and surgery. But you may want to try behavioral options first. Two of these options to talk over with your doctor include bladder retraining and Kegel exercises.

In bladder retraining, you use the bathroom at regular timed intervals, a habit called timed voiding. As you gain control, you can extend the time between your scheduled trips to the bathroom.

Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles that help hold in urine.

RELATED: Incontinence? Sling Removes Your Fear of Sudden Sneeze

How to do Kegel exercises

It’s important for women to learn Kegel exercises — and you should do them even while you’re pregnant.

• The first step is to find the right muscles. One way to find them is to imagine that you are sitting on a marble and want to pick up the marble with your vagina. Imagine sucking or drawing the marble into your vagina.
• Try not to squeeze other muscles at the same time. Be careful not to tighten your stomach, legs, or buttocks. Squeezing the wrong muscles can put more pressure on your bladder control muscles. Just squeeze the pelvic muscles. Don’t hold your breath. Do not practice while urinating.
• Repeat, but don’t overdo it. At first, find a quiet spot to practice — your bathroom or bedroom — so you can concentrate. Pull in the pelvic muscles and hold for a count of three. Then relax for a count of three. Work up to three sets of 10 repeats. Start doing your pelvic muscle exercises lying down. This is the easiest position to do them in because the muscles do not need to work against gravity. When your muscles get stronger, do your exercises sitting or standing. Working against gravity is like adding more weight.
• Be patient. Don’t give up. It takes just five minutes a day. You may not feel your bladder control improve for three to six weeks. Still, most people do notice an improvement after a few weeks.

Part of being strong, healthy and in charge is having a strong, healthy and well-contracting pelvic floor.

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According to the Administration on Aging, approximately two-thirds of all family caregivers also work outside the home. If you’re currently caring for a loved one, chances are you often feel overwhelmed by the difficulty of balancing your responsibilities to your loved ones, your home, and your job. You’re not alone. Read the tips below to learn how to ease the burden.

Research employer policies and programs. Many companies are starting to recognize the unique needs of caregivers. Talk with your human resources department and look through your employee manual to determine whether your company has policies in place or benefits available to help you manage your roles. Examples may include the following:

• The Family and Medical Leave Act entitles eligible employees to take 12 weeks per year of unpaid leave to care for a family member. Taking this leave would not impact your health insurance coverage or job security.
• Employee assistance programs help employees deal with problems that might affect their work. Often, these programs include short-term counseling and referrals to services in the community.
• Flex time is a flexible work schedule. You’re probably familiar with the standard 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. workday. If your company allows flex time, your employee handbook will usually define a core period of time during which you must be at work (e.g., from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.). You then create your schedule around these hours. For example, you may choose to work from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., or from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.
• Telecommuting allows you to work from another location, such as home, for a set number of hours or days each week.
• Job sharing is when two people are hired on a part-time or reduced-time basis to complete a job normally held by one person.

Talk to your supervisor. Take some time to think about your company’s policies and what changes would help you better manage your responsibilities. Draft a proposal, then schedule a meeting with your supervisor to talk it over. If possible, try to schedule this meeting with your supervisor before your responsibilities at home create a crisis at work.

During the meeting, be honest about your situation and open to any ideas your supervisor may have. Be sure to communicate how the changes you’ve proposed will benefit your employer (for example, maybe you’ll be less distracted and better able to focus on your work, or maybe you’ll take on an unpopular task in return). Offer a trial run of your proposed changes with a follow-up meeting in a few weeks or months.

Be an activist. It’s possible that your company or supervisor might not be able to accommodate your requests. If that’s the case, try not to be upset. Instead, set an example. Work with human resources to help your company’s leaders understand caregivers’ needs. Keep the channels of communication open, and try again after some time has passed.

Schedule your tasks. Make a schedule with your family members. This will help all of you stay organized and will help you manage the demands on your time. Include all activities, appointments, and regularly scheduled tasks, such as bill payments. Don't forget to also schedule time for things you enjoy, such as visiting with friends or going out to dinner or a movie.

Use to-do lists daily to prioritize your time. For example, you might create one list for tasks that you need to complete at home and another for tasks that you need to complete at work. Tackle the most important tasks first.

Ask for help. Plan for times when you need help by making a list of people who are willing to lend a hand. This list might include family members, friends, and temporary care workers. On your list, include phone numbers, the times people are available and the tasks they feel most comfortable doing. Keep a copy of the list with you at all times in case you're away from home when you need to ask someone for help.

Also, look for help in your community. Community services can include meal delivery, transportation, legal or financial counseling, and home health care services such as physical therapy or nursing. You can also ask at your church or synagogue for services or volunteers who can help you.

Take care of yourself. You may feel like you have to "do it all," regardless of the toll it takes on you. However, you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself. Read “Caregiver Health and Wellness” and “Caregiver Stress” to learn how to make your physical and emotional well-being a priority.

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What is domestic violence ?

Domestic violence is abuse by a caregiver, a parent, a spouse or an intimate partner. It can take many forms. Some types of abuse include the following:

• Physical abuse is the use of physical force to inflict harm, such as hitting, kicking or biting.
• Sexual abuse means any forced sexual activity.
• Emotional abuse includes threats, constant criticism and put-downs.
• Controlling access to money and controlling activities are other abusive behaviors.

What should I know about domestic violence ?

Violence against a partner or a child is a crime in all states. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 out of every 4 women and 1 out of every 9 men in the United States are victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives. Abuse happens to people of all races, ages, incomes and religions.

People who are hurt by their partners, parents or guardians do not cause the abuse. Alcohol and drugs do not cause abuse, although they can make the violence worse. Abuse can begin, continue and even increase during pregnancy.

What can I do if my children or I am abused ?

First, make sure you and your children are safe. Go to a safe place, such as the home of a friend or relative or an emergency shelter. Take your children with you. Call the police if you think you can't leave home safely or if you want to bring charges against your abuser.

If possible, take house keys, money and important papers with you. Do not use drugs or alcohol at this time because you need to be alert in a crisis. The staff members at emergency shelters can help you file for a court order of protection.

What are other ways I can get help if I am abused ?

Talk to your doctor, who can treat any medical problem, provide support and make referrals. Call an emergency shelter and ask about counseling and support groups for you and your children. Nurses, social workers and other health care professionals can also help you.

Other Organizations

• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
• National Domestic Violence Hotline

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Confidence is in short supply in our society today

Most of us underestimate our abilities and spend too much time caring about what other people think.

Ironically, our self-esteem tends to be at its lowest when we’ve achieved very little in a category, and also when we’ve had high achievements.

This tells us two things:

1. Most of us deserve to have a higher self-esteem than what we already feel right now
2. Self-esteem and confidence are subjective, and it can be shifted by changing how we think

Since our mindset is the key factor driving our confidence and self-esteem, let’s talk about 7 things you can learn today to achieve this.

1. Meditation

Meditation has been a long standing tradition in many asian countries like Japan and China, but it has recently been hitting the Western nation.

Many high-level CEO’s, business leaders, and athletes have reaped the benefits of meditation, and so should you.

Meditation helps us reduce our anxiety levels, increases our productivity, and even improves our memories. This clarity in our mind helps us make better decisions, feel less stress during the day, and yes — boost our confidence.

2. Public Speaking

Many people have said that the fear of public speaking is bigger than the fear of death.

The reason, according to one psychologist, comes from our ancestors.

For millions of years, humans roamed in groups in order to fend off life-threatening risks, such as large predators and starvation. The great part about this is that it’s the underlying reason why humans are still social today.

But it also means that anything threatening us our status from being excluded from a group seems very risky to us. This is why we’re fascinated by great public speakers that can win over an audience, because it’s something we can’t fathom doing ourselves.

Once you understand this human desire, you can use it to your advantage by working on your public speaking skills. A great place to start is to record videos of yourself, talking about a topic that interests you, and uploading it publicly when you’re ready. Another place we recommend is checking out your local Toastmasters meet up, where you’ll be surrounded by a supportive group of people.

3. Growth Mindset

Do you have a glass ceiling that’s limiting you?

This is why Carol Dweck, bestselling author of Mindset, calls a fixed mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset seeks success as affirmation for intelligence, versus a growth mindset, which thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a catalyst for growth and stretching beyond our existing abilities.

While an obstacle may lead to lower self-esteem or confidence for someone with a fixed mindset, it only fuels a person with a growth mindset.

4. Foreign Language

Learning a new language is no trip to the park, which is why it’s so rewarding once you make progress.

I remember when I first started to learn Spanish online. There was a thrill of excitement and confidence that ran through my body, because I could now speak to someone that I could have never been able to before.

Most of us are limited to only one language, which puts a ceiling on the amount of cultural experiences we can have, career opportunities, and most importantly, people we can build a relationship with.

But the simple act of committing to learn a new language, can be a game-changer for our confidence, because we’re setting out to take on a form of communication that few around us have the ability to understand.

That’s powerful.

There’s no excuse not to know another language in the multi-cultural world we live in.

5. Starting a Business

Creating a business from scratch is like having a baby. And as the baby gets bigger, you have to now overlook other people who are taking care of the baby with you.

These people depend on you for putting food on their family’s tables and paying their bills every single month.

Talk about pressure, right ?

Yes, starting a business is tough. But after starting several online businesses, I can personally share it’s one of the most fulfilling things you can do.

When you wake up everyday with the mission to serve someone or something that’s beyond yourself, what other people think of you start to matter less and less.

Even if you’re starting a business as a solo entrepreneur, you have to think beyond yourself, because you have clients, customers, and users to accommodate.

6. Selling

We’ve all heard of the used car salesman term. Some people jump across to the other side of the room when they hear the word “selling.”

It comes off sleazy or dirty, and when asked to do it themselves, they’re uncomfortable at the sight of it.

Let’s face it, all of us could use some form of sales skills. Whether it’s to win over a client, receive a promotion, or even persuade our friends to watch one movie over another.

Most importantly, selling trains you to look at the world from someone else’s perspective. When you’re focusing less on yourself, but rather the person sitting on the other side of the table, your self-consciousness diminishes almost immediately.

7. Weight Lifting

Lifting weights to build up your confidence is nothing new.

You’ve probably seen inspiring videos of people losing 50lbs, and how it has transformed their lives.

Beyond the obvious benefits, weight lifting contributes heavily to our mental health. It improves our blood circulation, which in turn increases our energy levels and overall happiness. Moreover, studies have shown that it also improves our cognitive functions, such as our attention, memory, and decision making.

Over to you

Have you tried all of these yet? If not, which will you commit to trying out in the next 30 days?

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Bored with life? You’re not alone.

As a whole, we are a boringly predictable species. We follow the same routines and do the same things day in day out; brushing our teeth, standing in our queues, drinking our coffee, staring at our screens.

As soon as we find a comfortable routine, we shutdown and turn to autopilot. We can be really productive in this way, building great things and solving complex issues.

But stay in this mode too long, and we become distant, passing by new and interesting people and opportunities, drifting further and further apart.

We quickly get stuck in this cycle, ironically contemplating the same single thought. Secretly waiting for someone or something to shake things up and bring us back to life.

How often we hear those chance encounters are the ones which grew into strong bonds and relationships, even marriages and families. We know this, yet we latch onto the predefined and safe idea that our lives will somehow work themselves out.

Although we try, we can’t plan our lives around what we don’t know. So let go of any flaky plans and embrace spontaneity. Starting….

Now: DANCE !

For some reason the universal law of what is socially acceptable goes out the window at night. As soon as darkness descends, we let our inhibitions go and shake our booties like wolves howling at the moon. Dancing shouldn’t strictly be nocturnal, so wherever you are, whatever the time of day, dance!

Ask A Stranger Questions

Some of the most interesting conversations start with asking a stranger a question. Ask one too many, and you risk coming across as plain weird, ask too few, and any spark will die abruptly. Stick to what feels right—two or three usually does the trick.

Follow The Fear

It can be something as small as talking to the checkout lady, or as big as entering a singing competition. We avoid our fears so often that we often fail to realize when we are doing it. Identify what gets your heart pounding and makes you cringe, and head straight towards it—you’ll feel amazing.

Offer Someone a Hand

One of the greatest and most simple pleasures in life is helping someone in need. It could be an elderly man walking home with his groceries, a lady attempting the stairs with a pram, or a young couple struggling to read a map; whoever it is, they’re sure to appreciate a helping hand.

Reach Out For Help or Advice

In the same way we love to help others, others usually jump at the opportunity to help us too. Many people would love to share their skills and wisdom, but are just afraid or don’t know how to do it. Let someone help you, and learn something new in the process.

Pay Someone A Compliment

This one always goes down a treat—as long as you avoid scripted chat up lines and wolf whistles.

Pretend You’re a Child

As children, the world is our playground—even if we didn’t venture further than our backyards. When we grow up, we can jump higher, walk further, ride buses alone, book flights; our playground just got a whole lot bigger, so play with it!

Take a Wrong Turn

Take a new route home and explore the streets and areas you are unfamiliar with. It’s surprising what you find right on your door step.

Say Yes, Yes, Yes !

Often we don’t give ourselves the chance to experience new and interesting things because of our obsession with what we know. We perceive the uncertain and unknown as flashing red warning lights, when in reality they should be green for GO. Say yes and if all goes wrong, at least you’ll have an interesting story to tell afterwards.

Start A New Hobby

Hobbies take commitment. Remember that painting set that you used once and stored away in the cupboard? Or those dancing classes you keep promising to start? Much enjoyment is lost due to our laziness and fear of failure. Throw away hesitation and throw yourself into a new hobby. Whether it lasts a few weeks or a few years, the act of enjoyment in the now is all that matters.

Do Something Out of The Box

We often limit ourselves in what we do by our small circle of knowledge and experiences. Choose an activity that has never interested you, and you’re sure to learn more than you anticipated.

Stop Thinking

Thinking is overrated. Our brains rob us of more opportunities than we will ever know. Trusting your gut and taking the path less traveled can get you back in tune with your feelings and emotions and inject new life into your day.

Flirt!

A little bit of harmless flirting holds all the ingredients of spontaneity: the blushing cheeks, the surprising remarks, the impulsive gestures. What’s more, you’ll get a strong hit of Oxytocin, and who knows, maybe even a phone number.

Connect With An Old Friend

Technology and social media leave us no excuse for keeping in touch with long lost friends from school and childhood. Everyone is just waiting for the other person to finally get over the awkwardness of how long it’s been. Be the other person.

Offer To Teach Someone

Everyone has something to teach. It could be how to play an instrument or format a word document, but it could also be an old recipe of your grandmas, or if you’re really stuck, your native language. Teaching brings out the best in us and allows us to extend our worth out into the world.

Connect With a New Person

Today we can make new friends with just the click of a button. But when was the last time you felt the buzz of connecting with someone in person? Online friendships shouldn’t be shunned altogether, but rather seen as a mode to a relationship of greater meaning in the real world. Why not start now by connecting with me?

Want to make sure you get everyday off to the best possible start?

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